Relationships, Etc.

Forgive the rough edges in this blog, folks, I'm having a hard time tinkering with the template code. Wala akong Frontpage eh. Does anyone know of a free WYSISYG webpage editor? Hoping lang naman ako.

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I went to a medical/dental/tuli mission in Antipolo last Sunday.

Sa wakas, marunong na rin akong magtuli! At naintindihan ko na rin ang tamang pagsuture. Medyo hindi ko na-gets yung "in-out-in-out" throws(?) na yun nung Surgery preceptorials tungkol sa suturing and knot tying. Salamat sa mga nagturo sa akin. :)

Marami rin ang nagpunta, magulo nga lang ng konti dahil maliit yung space. At nagiisa lang ang dentista. May mga hindi na rin bumalik nung after lunch.

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I remember a conversation I had once with friends regarding relationships.

Let us put it in this context.

My immediate friends and I have not exactly had "charmed" love lives. This would probably explain some of the naivete that went into this conversation. It went something like this:

A friend was saying, "...so tinanong nya, 'Ano nga ba kasi ang gagawin kapag may bf ka na?' So sinabi ko, 'E di mag-kiss!' Sumabay si ******, sabi nya 'E di mag-hug!'"

Laughter.

Another friend said, "Ano nga ba kasi ang gagawin mo with your boyfriend or girlfriend na hindi mo magagawa with friends, di ba? Sa tingin ko yung 'physical intimacy' na lang yun."

That got me thinking.

Ano nga ba ang magagawa mo with your significant other na hindi mo nagagawa with friends?

So at that time, I agreed with that statement, pero ngayon, iba na ang perspective ko about this kind of thing.

This may sound kind of prudish, I know, but believe me, I've thought long and hard on this and I think what I think makes some kind of sense.

Have you ever stopped to think why we have these kind of relationships in the first place?

I don't know about you, but I believe that you should only enter into relationships that you feel would have some probability of ending in marriage. Someone told me this three years ago, and it is only today that I realize how right he was.

You shouldn't get into relationships just for the fun of it, dahil gusto mo lang magka-fling, dahil gusto mo lang na meron kang ka-"make out" or FB, dahil sa buong mundo ikaw na lang ang walang BF or GF, o dahil gusto mo lang maranasan ang isang intimate relationship. Kahit gaano mo baligtarin ang mundo, ang labas kasi nito eh sinasayang mo lang ang oras at pinaglalaruan mo lang ang feelings ninyong dalawa. Don't give me the reason that "you need practice for the real thing", kasi bakit, meron bang relationship na fake? Every relationship is real. If this goes against what the whole world thinks, I'm really fine with that.

Which leads me to another one of my realizations. My parents were right all along, and this I realize around 6 years too late.

Get into relationships only when you know you're ready. This is roughly translated from what my parents used to say: "Huwag ka munang magka-boyfriend hangga't nagaaral ka pa." This would have saved me and a very good friend of mine a world of hurt.

What I mean by ready is ready in all aspects: emotionally, psychologically, socially, financially, and spiritually. Ready for what? Ready to get married, of course!

Which again leads me to another realization: physical intimacy is not a requisite for a great relationship.

The world around you tells you that in a relationship, you need to have physical intimacy. Yes, you would like nothing more than to have your hands and lips all over each other don't you?

Syempre, that desire is natural. Nature dictates it. Paano ba dadami ang tao sa mundo kung hindi pa natin gugustuhin maglandian.

If you get into these things even before you got married, ano pa ba ang pinagkaiba ninyo bago kayo kinasal at pagkatapos ninyong ikasal? What's the difference between the before and the after?

Wala.

Hindi ba ang sad naman kung ganun? Hindi ba mas meaningful kapag you start doing these things after you get married? Consider this as a gift you would give to someone with whom you would spend the rest of your life with.

I hope this doesn't sound too much like preaching. This is what I believe lang naman. If you believe otherwise, well, I respect your opinion. We don't have to debate until we're at each other's throats, you know. :)

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