A Medical Student's Life. Bow.

Halos tatlong buwan na mula ng ako'y huling nagsulat sa blog na ito.

Marami nang nangyari, nakatapos na ang block namin ng 2 rotation, ang tumataginting na 10 linggo sa internal medicine at 4 na linggo sa surgery.

Madami rin akong natutunan, dahil bukod sa cramming para sa mga pagsusulit na ginagawa ko kada linggo ay marami pa kaming ibang mga gawain na unti-unting nagpakita sa akin na marahil, nasa dugo ko na talaga ang pagiging duktor.

Napamahal talaga sa akin ang internal medicine.

Syempre noong una, isinumpa ko ito, ikaw ba naman ang bigyan ng pagkahirap-hirap na pagsusulit kada Lunes na halos mawala na ang Sabado at Linggo mo, mga preceptorials na paghahandaan mo ng Martes, Miyerkules, at Huwebes, at mga mahabang transcription na kailangang tapusin bago sumapit ang Sabado. Buong araw ka pa nakaupo at nakikinig sa mga lektyur na hindi mo masundan. Mamatay na lang ako, ikanga.

Pero kagaya ng mga ibang subjects na isinusumpa mo habang kinukuha mo ang mga ito, naiisip mo na lang pagkatapos mong kunin ang mga ito na oo nga, marami akong natututunan, at gusto ko itong kunin ulit kapag may pagkakataon ako ulit.

Wala na sigurong tatalo sa nangyari sa akin ng huling linggo ng internal medicine. Sapagkat ako'y ipinanganak na may apelyidong "Lapuebla" (ops, alam ko na ang tatanungin mo, uunahan na kita: 'No relation'), ang mga letrang L's ang naatasang mag-report sa klase ng kanilang mga topic conference at case presentation sa huling linggo ng rotation. Anong mahirap dun, tatanungin mo. Ako rin kasi ang tinaguriang lider sa Student Grand Rounds (bibigyan kayo ng isang mahirap na kaso ng pasyente, idadiagnose ninyo, at gagawan ng presentation) na itatanghal sa buong departamento ng medisina. Meron pang kakabit na mga transcription ang Topic Conference at Case Presentation. Idagdag mo pa ang sandamakmak na lecture, preceptorials, exam, at transcription na regular nang pangyayari sa buhay medicine. Isulat ko kaya siya ng ganito:

1. Monday: Hematology-Oncology Exam, overnight for Grand Rounds
2. Tuesday: overnight for Grand Rounds
3. Wednesday: Topic Conference, mega-overnight for Grand Rounds
4. Thursday: Grand Rounds, preceptorials
5. Friday: Case Presentation

Yan pa lang ang naging responsibilidad ko noong linggo. Ito naman ang naging overall na ginawa ng anatomy group ko (L's) na may itinulong din para sa Grand Rounds:

Hema-Onco Exam
2Topic Conference
1 Case Presentation
4 Transcriptions
1 Preceptorials
1 Grand Rounds (2 mini-overnight, 1 mega-overnight sa Med AVR. Libre ang WiFi at may aircon, kaya OK lang :))

Ayayay. Mamatay na lang ako, diba?

Salamat na lang at magaling talaga ang mga kaklase ko sa IM, naging matagumpay tuloy yung Grand Rounds. Sabi pa nga ni Dr. Abarquez na professor emeritus ng IM, "I did not expect medical students to be able to arrive at the diagnosis in this manner." Siyempre, ako naman, isang proud na nanay :).

Wala akong masabi sa Surgery kundi isa itong malaking Sample Exam. Nasira nito ang aking study habits.

--------------------

Alam na siguro ng lahat na regular na nagbabasa ng blog ko (oo, kayong sasampu na nagbabasa :)) na ang pinaka, pinakanakakapagpainis sa akin ay ang mga groupmates na hindi tumutulong/walang pakialam/maraming excuses/walang initiative.

At ang pinaka, pinaka, pinakanakakapagpainis sa akin ay ang mga kaibigan na alam mong OK namang magtrabaho na naging groupmate mo na hindi mo alam kung bakit pero hindi tumutulong/walang pakialam/maraming excuses/walang initiative tungkol sa proyekto ninyo.

Sobra, sobra talaga akong na-disappoint sa taong yun. Yun lang ang masasabi ko.

--------------------

May nagtanong sa akin kung bakit daw puro tungkol sa pag-ibig ang mga nakaraang isinulat ko. Ang sabi ko naman ay "Yun na lang kasi ang kulang. Pagkatapos noon, perfect na ako." Hehehehe. Bow.

--------------------

I'm thinking of moving. Again. Being in blogger is not as what I've imagined it to be. Hassle yung kailangan pang registered user bago makapag-comment. 10 na nga lang nagbabasa nito, hindi pa nila mavoice out ang kanilang opinions. Baka sa Yahoo 360 na lang ako mag-move. Ewan. We'll see.

O Ayan, Nag-Update Uli Ako :)

Tagal ko ring hindi nag-update, ano? Nawala na nga yung chatterbox sa gilid eh.

Actually, marami namang nangyayari sa boring life ko, feeling ko lang hindi siya blog-worthy. Anyway, may isinulat akong mga iniisip ko sa baba na sa tingin ko ay mas interesting naman kaysa sa buhay med school (which, by the way, is not as toxic as 2nd year was), so yan na lang muna ang ipapabasa ko sa inyo. O ayan, N*** ha, nag-update na ako ulit ng blog. :)

--------------------

Mahirap maging isang babae sa mundo ng pag-ibig, lalong-lalo na kung sa Pilipinas ka nakatira.

Akala niyo sigurong mga lalaki, nagpapasarap lang kami sa mga panliligaw nyo, na madali lang ang buhay namin kasi kami ang madalas na nagmumukhang pinagsisilbihan sa relasyon. Sa tingin nyo ba "bed of roses" lang ang lahat ng ito? Wala na sigurong mas mali kaysa sa pagiisip na ganyan.

Sinasabi na sa Pilipinas, lalong-lalo na sa Maynila, pantay lang ang oportunidad ng mga kasarian sa larangan ng edukasyon, trabaho, palakasan, pulitika, at maaari na rin sa pagibig. Base sa lipunang nasa paligid ko ngayon (na alam ko rin namang hindi matatawag na representative ng lipunan dito sa Maynila), pantay-pantay nga lang talaga ang lahat pagdating sa edukasyon, trabaho, palakasan, at pulitika, pero hindi ko masasabing totoo rin ito pagdating sa paksa ng pag-ibig.

Sinasabi ng mga lalaki na sa pangkalahatan, ok lang sa kanila na ang mga babae ay maging kapantay lamang nila pagdating sa mga relasyon. Pero kapag kausapin mo sila ng isa-isa, marami sa kanila (nagtanong ako sa mga kakilala ko at marami nga talaga) ang ayaw sa ideya na ang babae ang gagawa ng first move; ayaw rin nila na sila ang nililigawan o kaya sila ang sinusuyo. Gusto nila sila ang in control sa sa mga relasyon na papasukan nila.

Hindi ibig sabihin nito na bitter ako kasi hindi ako nanligaw o kaya nanuyo, pero kasi, ang ibig sabihin lang nun eh maninigas na lang kaming mga babae sa kahihintay na ang mga lalaking gusto namin eh pansinin naman kami.

Dito rin ako nalilito. Meron na rin kasi akong nakausap na gusto niya, bago siya manligaw, meron nang ipinapahiwatig sa kanya yung babae para hindi naman siya magmukhang tanga kapag nanligaw na siya. At isa ito sa mga lalaking napagtanungan ko na dati na ayaw na siya ang ginagawan ng first move o kaya nililigawan.

Ang labas niyan, kaming mga babae ay halos walang control sa mga relasyon na gusto naming pasukan (sa pangkalahatan 'to ha. Meron kasing mga ilang babae na pinagpala at dinudumog na kalalakihan). Oo, madalas sa amin din ang pagpili kung gusto naming maging karelasyon ang isang lalaki nanliligaw, pero yung kami ang pumili sa lalaking gusto namin na hindi nanliligaw sa amin? Madalas na mangyari na kung anu-ano pang pasaring ang kailangan naming gawin sa lalaki para mapansin kami, at sinisiguro pa namin na ang mga pasaring na ito ay hindi nagmumukhang panunuyo kundi baka ma-turn-off pa ang lalaki. Ipinamumukha pa namin na ang lalaki ang nakaisip sa sarili nya na pansinin kami, hindi lang nila alam na ilang buwan na rin namin pinaghirapan yon.

Kung sino man ang nagsabi na "You girls have it made", mag-isip ka nga uli.

Things are simply not what they seem.

Relationships, Etc.

Forgive the rough edges in this blog, folks, I'm having a hard time tinkering with the template code. Wala akong Frontpage eh. Does anyone know of a free WYSISYG webpage editor? Hoping lang naman ako.

--------------------

I went to a medical/dental/tuli mission in Antipolo last Sunday.

Sa wakas, marunong na rin akong magtuli! At naintindihan ko na rin ang tamang pagsuture. Medyo hindi ko na-gets yung "in-out-in-out" throws(?) na yun nung Surgery preceptorials tungkol sa suturing and knot tying. Salamat sa mga nagturo sa akin. :)

Marami rin ang nagpunta, magulo nga lang ng konti dahil maliit yung space. At nagiisa lang ang dentista. May mga hindi na rin bumalik nung after lunch.

--------------------

I remember a conversation I had once with friends regarding relationships.

Let us put it in this context.

My immediate friends and I have not exactly had "charmed" love lives. This would probably explain some of the naivete that went into this conversation. It went something like this:

A friend was saying, "...so tinanong nya, 'Ano nga ba kasi ang gagawin kapag may bf ka na?' So sinabi ko, 'E di mag-kiss!' Sumabay si ******, sabi nya 'E di mag-hug!'"

Laughter.

Another friend said, "Ano nga ba kasi ang gagawin mo with your boyfriend or girlfriend na hindi mo magagawa with friends, di ba? Sa tingin ko yung 'physical intimacy' na lang yun."

That got me thinking.

Ano nga ba ang magagawa mo with your significant other na hindi mo nagagawa with friends?

So at that time, I agreed with that statement, pero ngayon, iba na ang perspective ko about this kind of thing.

This may sound kind of prudish, I know, but believe me, I've thought long and hard on this and I think what I think makes some kind of sense.

Have you ever stopped to think why we have these kind of relationships in the first place?

I don't know about you, but I believe that you should only enter into relationships that you feel would have some probability of ending in marriage. Someone told me this three years ago, and it is only today that I realize how right he was.

You shouldn't get into relationships just for the fun of it, dahil gusto mo lang magka-fling, dahil gusto mo lang na meron kang ka-"make out" or FB, dahil sa buong mundo ikaw na lang ang walang BF or GF, o dahil gusto mo lang maranasan ang isang intimate relationship. Kahit gaano mo baligtarin ang mundo, ang labas kasi nito eh sinasayang mo lang ang oras at pinaglalaruan mo lang ang feelings ninyong dalawa. Don't give me the reason that "you need practice for the real thing", kasi bakit, meron bang relationship na fake? Every relationship is real. If this goes against what the whole world thinks, I'm really fine with that.

Which leads me to another one of my realizations. My parents were right all along, and this I realize around 6 years too late.

Get into relationships only when you know you're ready. This is roughly translated from what my parents used to say: "Huwag ka munang magka-boyfriend hangga't nagaaral ka pa." This would have saved me and a very good friend of mine a world of hurt.

What I mean by ready is ready in all aspects: emotionally, psychologically, socially, financially, and spiritually. Ready for what? Ready to get married, of course!

Which again leads me to another realization: physical intimacy is not a requisite for a great relationship.

The world around you tells you that in a relationship, you need to have physical intimacy. Yes, you would like nothing more than to have your hands and lips all over each other don't you?

Syempre, that desire is natural. Nature dictates it. Paano ba dadami ang tao sa mundo kung hindi pa natin gugustuhin maglandian.

If you get into these things even before you got married, ano pa ba ang pinagkaiba ninyo bago kayo kinasal at pagkatapos ninyong ikasal? What's the difference between the before and the after?

Wala.

Hindi ba ang sad naman kung ganun? Hindi ba mas meaningful kapag you start doing these things after you get married? Consider this as a gift you would give to someone with whom you would spend the rest of your life with.

I hope this doesn't sound too much like preaching. This is what I believe lang naman. If you believe otherwise, well, I respect your opinion. We don't have to debate until we're at each other's throats, you know. :)

--------------------

Feel free to leave comments in the comments section of each entry or, better yet, try out the message board! Got the idea and link from Albert. Many thanks.

Kaya sa mga hayok magreact dyan, react na, daliii! ;)

Tears for John Paul the Great

I was watching the funeral of Pope John Paul II on CNN as I was transcribing my class' Pathology final exam. It was the last glimpse the world had of him, and it seemed fitting that he who traveled to the ends of the earth to be with his people caused these same people from all continents and all faiths to be with him as his body is laid to his final resting place.

He was the only Pope my generation ever knew in our short lives, and we never knew anyone else who sat in the throne of St. Peter. I knew, of course, that he will be leaving this earth one day, but it never occurred to me that there will be another Pope who will be leading the Catholic Church someday. In my mind, he will always be the Pope, that he will always be there at the Vatican, that someday, I will finally get to meet him.

I never met him personally. All I’ve been blessed with are two glimpses of him, both at a very great distance, and one of them fleeting. I cannot help but feel, though, that I’ve lost someone very dear to my heart, that I’ve lost a grandfather, or even a father. I tear up every time I see photographs of the Santo Papa (as indeed he is), all of which showed his humanity, his compassion, and during his later years, his suffering. I cried during his funeral mass; I cried at the thought that this man who loved every person in the world has finally left us, leaving us somehow orphaned. I know that this is not a time for mourning but for rejoicing, as he who was one of those living on this earth who deserved to be in heaven is now there, in the presence of Jesus and Mama Mary, to whom he was especially devoted to. As Cardinal Ratzinger said in his homily, John Paul II, during his last Easter here on earth and obviously suffering, went to the window of the apostolic palace and gave the world his last blessing. We can be sure, he said, that the Pope is now at the window of his Father’s house blessing all of us down here on earth.

This was the man who inspires me to become a better Christian and Catholic, and who, in his life and his death, brought home a message of life, love, hope, compassion, peace and justice to a world needing of guidance. He taught me that the Church is more than its trappings, its traditions, its turbulent sometimes violent history, its scandals, and its stands on abortion, divorce, artificial contraception, priestly celibacy, and women in the clergy. I am very thankful that we were blessed with a Pope such as he, just at the time humanity needed it.

This is my small way of saying “thank you” and “I love you” to such a wonderful, wonderful man. May I someday be blessed to one day meet him in the many rooms of his Father’s house.